Missing Homecoming

Each year I run into a problem. No matter how much I prepare for it, there's always some issue or conflict that comes up keeping me from the one thing I look forward to between October and October of the following year: Homecoming at UC.

Since I've graduated, I've been able to attend one. Yes, one. I graduated six years ago, and as far as I'm concerned, that's an unacceptable ratio. This year, I'm attending the wedding of my old next-door neighbor, Scott. He's a few years younger than me, but we pretty much grew up together since before kindergarten (for me). It'll be a reunion of sorts, because everyone from the old neighborhood is supposed to be going, and I'll get a chance to see his brother for the last time in God knows how many more years, but there'll be that nagging thought in the back of my head. ...Homecoming.

Let me give you a quick background on my relationship with Homecoming. Yes, it is a relationship and at this point, if Homecoming was a beautiful woman, I'd be out on my ass by now. Actually, I would've been out on my ass four years ago and would now be demoted to the sad, pathetic crooner who wants what he simply can't have.

When I was in college, Homecoming was the biggest, most exciting day of the year. Every fall season I helped work on constructing the float and most times ran the simple machinery behind the scenes during the parade. Friends whom you haven't seen all year come out to partake in the festivities, as do people who normally wouldn't attend a campus function at all. We drink, we laugh, we have Kegs & Eggs, we catch up, we watch UC get smacked in football by some half-bit team and we go out and drink some more. It's a big kumbaya, and I look forward to it every year. ...and every year my schedule says, "NO! No, Homecoming for you this year! It's not allowed." So let me retrace the past six years to illustrate further my bad luck with attempting to make it to Homecoming...an event only three short hours away from where I live now.

2002: Down in Cincinnati for a huge freelance project, staying at my (now ex-) girlfriend's house just off of campus. Was able to attend the first hour of the parade when *BAM* I get a call from work that one of the servers crashed, the one with all my work, and what wasn't lost was corrupted. I had to leave the parade and work the rest of the weekend on redoing EVERYTHING that I had done in the week before the crash so as to make the Monday deadline. So long Homecoming 2002.

2003: Living in Cleveland. Had plans to leave on Friday and spend the entire weekend with friends and the celebration of life. Was told on Thursday by my boss that he scheduled us to fly to Memphis to take pictures of a car accident. I told him that I had plans to go out of town, that it was on the office calendar. He said that he didn't care. I tried to plea bargain. It didn't work. I spent the most miserable weekend of my working career watching him take pictures of a car accident in Memphis.

2004: The date of Homecoming was switched from mid-October to mid-November, the week before Thanksgiving. Due to family conflictions that entire week, the last minute re-schedule ruined the day for many people. Frustrations ensue.

2005: UC didn't feel the need to release the date of Homecoming until mid-September for whatever odd reason. It happened to fall on the one day that my Cleveland friends and I were planning a white water rafting trip in West Virginia...the one weekend I had a conflict in the entire month of October, which was actually at the beginning of the month, earlier than UC had ever held Homecoming throughout the entire time I've been affliated with the University.

2006: In California for one of my best friend's weddings. For the record, that one was worth missing.

2007: Able to attend for the first time since graduation and I got to catch up with friends I hadn't seen in over five years. Yay.

2008: UC's calendar stated that Homecoming was actually scheduled for Monday, Columbus Day. I flipped, questioning why they would actually do that. Turns out their calendars were wrong. My mom overheard me complaining about this and told some distant relatives that I could attend their wedding. When I found out that Homecoming actually was on Saturday, it was too late. The RSVP was already sent in. Once again, I have to wait until next year to see what kind of creative slap from kharma keeps me from heading down to Cincinnati once again.

And now, because of the time I took to type this, I'm running late for the wedding. Brilliant.